How to Get Your Ex Back After Being Too Needy

Many people, mostly women, lose relationships because they are too needy.  Calling or texting 20 times a day, needing help with even the smallest decisions, trying to get them to spend almost all their time with you.  Needing help from time to time is one thing, being needy and weak and desperate is a turn off.

These behaviors will cause almost anyone to give up on you.  Without healthy boundaries, your ex clearly begins to feel burdened and they become certain you aren’t the one for them.

So if you have broken up with your mate because of being too needy, don’t feel too bad.  It happens in a lot of relationships, and hopefully you have learned a lot from it.

Now that you have hopefully learned something from getting the boot, you want to get your ex back.  Is it possible to get back together with your ex lover if they dumped you for being too needy?

It won’t necessarily be easy, but it can most certainly be done.  The big first step is to recognize that you messed up by being too needy and clingy and weak.  Men like to solve some problems for their women, but they want you to be independent and capable rather than an emotional mess.  Too much clingy mess creates relationship killing problems.

So the first question is, have you learned from being booted out of the relationship?  Have you changed?  Or when you get back together will you be as needy and clingy as ever?  If you aren’t sure, you aren’t ready to get him or her back just yet.  And if you aren’t sure, go get some couples counseling or therapy, all by yourself.  There is no shame in it, and you can quickly learn how to create healthier boundaries in a relationship.

The next big step is to let your ex know that you have changed.  This, of course, is where it gets tricky.  You can do this in several ways.  One direct method is to call them and tell them what you’ve learned about healthy boundaries.  Convince them that you won’t need to call them ten times a day while they are at work.  If they understand that you have learned from the experience, they can begin to want you back.

A second method to get them back by convincing them you’ve changed takes longer.  You call them once a week to chat and “catch up.”  During these calls, you tell stories from your life about all the ways you are being independent and solving problems on your own.  This will clue them in that you have learned and changed, and give them a new respect for you.  This can lead to renewed interest in being with you again.

These are a few ways to begin to change your ex’s mind about you after they dumped you for being too needy.  There’s more to it, but just these few steps can be a powerful start to get the love back in your life.