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the most common thoughts and their solutions

Although many say that we do not die of love, it is true that emotional breakdowns are experienced as real tragedies for all who go through them and, more so, if you are the one who was left behind.

If you are going through this painful time, keep in mind that some of the things that can happen to you are typical of a grieving process (we talk about grieving when there is a loss in our life and, in this case, which losing us is our partner).

It is very possible that you will experience very intense sensations of discomfort.: a lot of anxiety, immense sadness and, a myriad of emotions and thoughts that you haven’t had so far and that are probably causing your self-esteem to drop.

Common thoughts when they leave us and the relationship ends

But what are these common thoughts after the breakup that make us crack?

1. You blame yourself for your actions

Guilt arises if you put excessive responsibility on everything you have done (or haven’t done), like you can control it all and you failed. After leaving, most of the time the person even blames himself for the partner’s reactions with phrases such as “if I hadn’t said this thing, my partner would have thought otherwise and wouldn’t have left me”.

2. You focus on an aspect of yourself that you don’t like.

And you suppose it’s horrible and that’s why he left you: “I’m too hysterical, it’s normal that he doesn’t want to be with me.” All that it gives the impression that your self-esteem is badly damaged while it is very possible that you are not being fair to yourself.

3. Beliefs You Won’t Find Anyone Like This

An exaggerated idealization of the person appears, thinking that he is unique and wonderful. Now you think it suits you perfectly.

However, on other occasions you had thought the exact opposite: that there were things about this person that you didn’t like.

4. Idealization of the relationship

As in the previous point, also the good things in the relationship are touted, nostalgia for the good times appears and remembering the good things while the less good things we had with this relationship are forgotten.

the most common thoughts and their solutions

What to do?

Fortunately, in psychology you can find tools that help you deal with this process much more easily. So, if all of this is happening to you, you should do some of these things to get out before that discomfort comes over you:

1. Work on your beliefs

Work on thoughts like “I won’t find anyone like me”, “I lost my opportunity” and a host of other things along those lines. All of those thoughts that you have about the relationship that you take as realities at this time are the causes for which you feel this great discomfort, anxiety and sadness. Working on them is essential for clarifying everything that is going on and feeling better.

2. Increase your self-esteem

Whether you feel inferior or put yourself down will not help you at all precisely, but on the contrary, it will hurt you.

You may not be aware of everything that can influence your life today, but having good self-esteem is one of the basic pillars of emotional well-being. And breakups are one of the triggers that don’t help regain that self-esteem.

3. Force yourself to increase your social circle

You might not feel like it at first, but getting out is important. It can help clear your mind, but also increase your social circle..

In many cases, after some time together with your partner, you will have many mutual friends and it is important that now you also find a social space just for you, without worrying about your ex.

4. Make decisions

Maybe at first you don’t feel able to make the best decisions clearly; However, Deciding which path to take and which actions to take is important, because having a few steps to follow gives us peace and peace of mind..

A psychologist, through the proper techniques and questions, can guide you through this process, helping you adopt a perspective that you may not be able to have at this time.

5. Ask for help if you need it

Today with all the means and easy access to a psychologist via the Internet it makes no sense to lengthen the process of suffering.

Sandra Bernal Mora

At Psychologist Sandra Bernal We have the means and the knowledge necessary to help you manage these periods both face-to-face and by video call.

Check our related article here: save the marriage com

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